童年被伤害过的孩子，长大后还能爱自己吗？怎么爱？
<div style="max-width:677px !important;"><section data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io" style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><blockquote style="white-space: normal;margin-top: 8px;margin-bottom: 8px;padding-top: 0px;padding-left: 16px;border-left-width: 4px;border-left-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-size: 16px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">编者按</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">坠亡、弑亲、伤害或被伤害……每当有悲剧发生，在事件还原中往往涌动一条线索，如暗流般指向：当事人不快乐甚至被伤害过的童年。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">被伤害过的心灵，还可以被修复，可以好好爱自己吗？</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">果壳邀请了《中国国民心理健康发展报告（2019~2020）》副主编、中科院心理研究所国民心理健康评估发展中心陈祉妍教授，来聊聊“爱自己”这个话题。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">不只是青少年，“爱自己”人人有责。成长过程中，难免有创伤，重要的是如何从创伤中成长。</span></section></blockquote><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">刚刚过去的2021年5月25日是我国第22个全国大、中学生心理健康日。“525”谐音“我爱我”，2000年，由我的母校北师大倡议，确定了这一天为北京大学生心理健康日。从2004年开始，这一天被确定为全国大中学生心理健康日，提醒大、中学生“珍惜生命、关爱自己”。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，“爱自己”人人有责。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">那么，到底<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">怎样做算是爱自己</span>？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果在心理学中为“我爱我、爱自己”找一个对应的词汇，我想应该是“<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">自我价值感</span>”（self-esteem）：认为自己是一个有价值的人，值得爱。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">前段时间《小舍得》热播，里面有个孩子说，你不是爱我，你只是爱一个学习好的孩子。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><p style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span></span></p><h6 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 12px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;color: rgb(153, 153, 153);text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">图 | 《小舍得》</span></h6><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">对成就的欣赏，不是爱；当然，对缺点的欣赏，也不是——如果一个人，有一项不讨喜的缺点，却有人爱他的这个缺点，这里面多多少少会有些对关系的操纵，或有意或无意地鼓励一种依赖。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在我看来，<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">“对感受的接纳和尊重”是“爱”的核心成分之一</span>。爱一个人，不代表永远不对ta失望、生气。健康的爱是：我在爱着对方的时候，该生气还是会生气，但生气并不意味着全盘否定我的爱，只是，生气之后会选择原谅或放下。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，“爱自己”也是。不仅仅是青少年，所有人都是。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何爱自己呢？我会倾向于<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">按照时序，分为：爱过去的自己、现在的自己和未来的自己</span><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></section><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何爱过去的自己？</strong></h1><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">换个评价自己的标准 </strong></h1><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我曾经处理过一个创伤个案，当然，当事人已不年轻，是一位有一定工作经验的医生。他在值班急诊时，为喝醉的人处理伤病，却被对方打伤了。当时他让护士赶紧后撤，自己就完全没反抗，挨了一些打。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">虽然受伤不严重，但这件事给他留下了心理创伤，觉得自己窝囊，明明自己身材还挺高大的，怎么就没把对方给打出去。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但在讨论过程中，他慢慢意识到，当时的情况是：对方人多势众，而且旁边有女性的护士，还有这么多瓶瓶罐罐，如果他当时激化矛盾，很可能会带来更大的伤害，可能就保护不到他想保护的那些人。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">之前，他的定义是“我没有保护到大家，也没有保护好自己”。经过咨询，<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">换了一个评价尺度看</span>，他当时其实是做出了一个理性、克制且并不容易的选择：忍住自己的愤怒去挨打，使得事态平息，也间接使其他人得到了保护——当他意识到这一点，能感觉到，他整个情绪状态就变了：看到自己当时的理性和克制也是一种力量的时候，他就接纳了自己，而且欣赏到自己。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这个案例，是一种短期内的转变，处理了来访者半个月前的创伤。还有很多人来做心理咨询治疗，往往都是有一些更久远的创伤或挫折，有个过不去的坎。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，每个人可能都在成长过程中被伤害过，有时是被自己的失误伤害，有时是被别人的。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">青少年期是心理健康发展的关键阶段。根据我们十多年来对不同年龄心理健康状况的研究，发现：在青少年期，随着年龄的增高，心理健康问题逐渐增多；而18岁后直到35岁前，也仍然是心理健康问题多发的年龄段。《中国国民心理健康发展报告（2019~2020）》中的青少年调查报告显示，10~19岁青少年中使用流调中心抑郁量表简版检出的轻度抑郁风险占17.2%，重度抑郁风险占7.4%。睡眠不足、健康生活方式缺乏、心理健康素养偏低是影响青少年心理健康的重要因素。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在心理治疗中，有时我们会接诊一些青少年，要死要活，非常痛苦——结果最后发现，不是孩子病了，而是他的家庭病了。比如，家长中有一位有严重的人格障碍，让人很不舒服。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但家长的状态是稳定的，即使有什么不稳定，最后也通过孩子调节了，孩子相当于一个减压阀。家长人到中年，能保有他的工作和生活，说明他已经选择过了能忍受他的人能和环境，稳定地在那儿发展——但孩子没有。在青少年阶段，如果没有一个安定的心态，有些压力就不那么容易去应对，出现一些问题。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果一个孩子，成长在不安定的环境里（比如父母总是吵架），孩子可能就会觉得：我是无能的、有错的，我不能阻止这个吵架，我不能让家庭氛围好起来，甚至有时父母吵架还会迁怒于孩子，孩子更<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">会觉得“是我造成的”</span>。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">类似的创伤很难消化，表面看，是不能释怀父母带来的伤害，但其实，还有一个<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">潜在的原因：我不能原谅自己“怎么会做不到一些事情”</span>。如果一直用很高的标准要求自己，就会觉得自己过去好傻、好无能——这种苛责就是不爱自己的表现。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><p style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span></span></p><h6 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 12px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;color: rgb(153, 153, 153);text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">苛责就是不爱自己的表现丨giphy</span></h6><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在这种情况下，“<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">爱过去的自己</span>”就是：我能体谅自己，成长在那样的环境里、在那样的年龄，比如说那个幼小的我还涉世未深，有那样的反应是正常的，处理不好一些事情是可以理解的，甚至换个角度，我可以欣赏自己当时的单纯、简单或年少的执着。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这也是在心理咨询中一个很重要的治疗性因素：<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">换个评价标准看自己，理解和接纳自己当时的感受和做法，而不是用一个苛刻的标准来要求自己</span>。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">再比如，我们小时候可能都会羡慕别人的东西，有的小孩子甚至会把别人的文具偷偷藏起来。现在小学里的老师有时也会处理这样的情况。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这是偷窃吗？不一定。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">虽然行为不对，但以当时的年龄来要求，抵抗不住诱惑、控制不住自己的行为，其实也有可以谅解的部分。而且，长大之后就能够克制自己的愿望，不再去做，那就没问题。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">所以，如何爱过去的自己？就是：<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">谅解、接纳甚至欣赏过去的自己。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></section><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何爱现在的自己：</strong></h1><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">尊重自己的感受 </strong></h1><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何爱现在的自己？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我相信，很多心理健康工作者都会给出一个相似的答案：<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">能够尊重自己的感受。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">比方说，别人都觉得一部电影好看，打9分好评，但我就觉得电影别扭，没关系，我可以和别人的感受不一样，且不会因此觉得自己有问题。但有些人可能会幻想那个环境是压制的，担心自己说什么都会被批评——这其实是一种错觉。真实的情况是：<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">最重要是我怎么想，我喜欢什么，我讨厌什么，这都是真实的、我可以有的感受</span>。</span></section><p style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span></span></p><h6 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 12px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;color: rgb(153, 153, 153);text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">最重要的是我怎么想，我的感受是真实的丨giphy</span></h6><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我有一个朋友，她的丈夫是个自恋的人，觉得“我说的一切都是非常有道理的”，然后经常贬低我这位朋友，比如，你学习比我差多了，你又笨，又不好好学，你要多向我学习、多向别人学习，之类，还有一种近似于“我是可怜你才跟你在一起”的说法。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">有一次，他们发生了一次冲突，其实就是两个人都想照顾孩子，但照顾的方式上不一样。她丈夫就冒出一句话：你就一定要跟我对着干吗？我那个朋友就懵了，面对这种盛怒，她不知该如何处理。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这时候，如果是一个理性的人，会明显看出，丈夫对世界的认识是歪曲的，因为妻子只是在关心孩子，根本没去想对抗——但当时这位妻子习惯性的反应是：他发火了，怎么办？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如果她尊重自己的感受，就可以回复：我根本没有要跟你对着干的意思，你是不是理解错了。但她当时只是觉得：是不是我有错，我该怎么办，怎么挽救？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这就涉及到一个问题：当你很爱一个人时，如何平衡爱自己。我觉得需要提醒这种平衡。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">平衡“别人的感受”和“我的感受”，包括两点——</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">首先会觉得，我的感受是真实的，而不会认为我的有些感受是不应该的甚至是可耻的。</span>就算有时候难免理解错了，这也很正常嘛，不影响人根本的价值。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">好的亲密关系不意味着两人的感受要完全一致。有人喜欢甜一点，有人喜欢酸一些。如果在成长过程中，拥有更多的“不一致”的自由，会更接纳这种不一致。但有的家庭养育中，家长会说，这个菜这么好吃，你不爱吃，你是不是傻呀？如果是在这种套路里养育出来的孩子，可能会更习惯于“我的感受跟别人不一样，我会被批评，所以我要质疑自己的感受”。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">一个人的过去，特别是童年的成长环境，对于心理的健康成长有不可忽视的影响。研究发现，有一种家庭环境叫做“<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">无效家庭环境</span>”（ invalidating family enviornment），也许这个翻译并不准确，指的是孩子的感受、喜好得不到家长的呼应和认可，尽管身体可能得到照顾，但孩子的内心是被忽视的。这样的家庭环境会增加一个人成长中的心理健康风险。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">然而，<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">不利的成长环境并非决定人的一切</span>。随着成长，很多人可以超越过去对自己的束缚。例如成人依恋访谈中，会询问一个人的童年成长，但并不是要通过一个人的童年快乐或不快乐来评价一个人的心理健康程度，而是通过询问去看一个人“如何理解看待自己的童年”。<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">即使有个不幸福的童年，长大后能够很好地消化和整合，也可以拥有健康成熟的内心。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">从科普的层面，我会强调：<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">如何评价一份关系，就<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">看自己在关系中是不是真实的</span>，是否需要假装成另外一个样子去迎合对方，对方是否也是一个真实的人；以及，看<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">这份关系是不是“支持性”的</span>，是带给我增长还是消耗。</span></span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><p style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;min-height: 1em;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span></span></p><h6 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 12px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;color: rgb(153, 153, 153);text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">好的关系是支持性的，你可以展露真实的样子丨giphy</span></h6><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">科普是一个很浅的干预，但面会很广。我觉得如果大家都加强这份意识，当这份关系到了“<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">你觉得必须要委屈自己、改变自己才能让对方满意</span>”的时候，就已经是个警示信号了。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这种关系，不仅仅是亲密关系，也包括和亲人的关系、和朋友的关系，包括职场中的关系。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">除了尊重自己的感受，还有表达自己的想法。</span>小到跟朋友约饭时决定吃什么，大到在公开场合表达自己的观点。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">有一本书叫《向前一步》，作者提到，男性往往更敢于表达自己的想法和问题。反过来说，女性往往更不容易表达。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我讲课的时候也发现，心理学的课堂上往往80%以上是女性学员。有时候一堂课50个人，有两位男生，一直提问的可能就是这两位中的一位，一个人提的问题比所有人提的都多。为什么呢？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">因为女性在提问之前，往往会想：我这个问题会不会耽误别人的时间？这个问题是不是只属于我，我问了老师要回答我，耽误了大家的时间就不好了。或者，我要问的问题，是不是老师已经讲过了，我再问是不是显得我很傻？女生的提问过程中，往往有更多的阻碍，所以大部分女生都不当众提问。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">这种现象，并不是孤例。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">可能是因为父权社会一直对女性更苛责。社会对男性当然也有要求，比如，要更阳刚，更勇敢、更有担当；但对女性的要求更多，包括要更温柔贤淑、要为家庭付出甚至牺牲，要考虑别人的感受。</span></section><blockquote style="white-space: normal;margin-top: 8px;margin-bottom: 8px;padding-top: 0px;padding-left: 16px;border-left-width: 4px;border-left-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-size: 16px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">果壳：</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">还有一种言论：爱自己就是舍得给自己花钱，包括衡量对方是不是爱自己，也是看对方是不是给你花了很多钱，送了贵重的礼物。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">所以，给自己花钱，是不是就意味着“爱自己”？</span></section></blockquote><blockquote style="white-space: normal;margin-top: 8px;margin-bottom: 8px;padding-top: 0px;padding-left: 16px;border-left-width: 4px;border-left-color: rgb(153, 153, 153);color: rgb(153, 153, 153);font-size: 16px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">陈祉妍：</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">的确，很多人多多少少会用钱来做一个粗糙的外在标的。有人觉得用奢侈品很爽，因为有一个价格来标定价值，就觉得是爱自己，</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但我不这么认为。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">真正爱自己，其实是会有一种弹性：无论穿军大衣还是香奈儿套装，我都OK——我不会因为自己老穿着军大衣，就觉得自己会被人忽视，也不会因为别人忽视，就觉得自己没价值。我穿什么，只是因为自己喜欢。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">但是如果一个人在着装上，并不是为了配合特定的场合，只是为了用价格来标定自己的价值，那就意味着：他其实不是真正爱自己，所以需要一个外在的证明。而这些证明其实是松散、脆弱的，甚至可能是滚动的：比如，拎了一个5万的包，一看别人拎了个8万的包，就感觉自我价值受损了。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">不舍得给自己花钱，是不是就意味着“不爱自己”？我认为要分情况。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">有的家庭经济确实紧张，必然需要有人做牺牲。但有的人并不是因为经济压力。比如，类似价值的东西，如果送给家人，他就会送；如果给自己，就会省着不买。因为他会觉得，我的愿望如果是需要花钱的，就要尽量克制，可能内心深处有一部分觉得“我不值得这么多钱”，这也是有很多人不做心理咨询的原因之一，觉得：为了我的心理更健康、更幸福，值得花这么多钱吗？不值。</span></section></blockquote><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br></section><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">爱未来的自己：</strong></h1><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">想成为什么样的人，</strong></h1><h1 style="white-space: normal;font-size: 24px;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;text-align: center;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">先那么去做 </strong></h1><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">对于性格的形成，人格心理学中有两种不同方向的理解：一种叫<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">因果论</span>，指的是，过去发生的事情决定了今天你的样子；另一种叫<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">目的论</span>，指的是，未来的目标决定了今天你的样子。持因果论的流派很多，比如精神分析学派、行为主义学派；持目的论的学者很少，比如阿德勒、阿尔波特——但是，目的论对我们有一个启发：面向未来的不同目标，决定着你今天不同的行为。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">我曾看过弘一大师谈自我修养的一句话，大意是，如果你想当大师，那么在你自己还是一个小和尚的时候，就要像大师一样要求自己的所作所为，不要随随便便、甚至自暴自弃。</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">面向未来的爱自己，就是说，把自己当做一个有价值的人，试想，如果你已经是一个值得尊重的有价值的人了，你会怎么去做？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">在<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">焦点解决疗法</span>中，我们会问求助者：如果问题已经解决了，你的生活会有什么不同？如果你已经达到了目标，你的行为会有什么不同？你今天会怎样做？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">其实，在日常生活里，也可以问问自己类似的问题：如果我已经是一个很爱自己、尊重自己的人，那么此时此刻，我会怎么做？特别是，当你要选择“<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">做或不做一件事</span>”的时候，要考虑：当我做出这样的行为，我会更加尊重自己吗？会更爱自己吗？我会为自己点赞吗？</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">比如“助人”这种行为。很多时候，帮助别人的同时也意味着需要一些付出。比方说，在乘坐公交车或者地铁的时候，我可能也感觉疲惫，但是当我看到老弱病残没有座位的时候，我会主动把自己的座位让出来吗？当我知道，我会尊重和欣赏这样的行为，也会尊重和欣赏做出这种行为的人，那么，选择这么做的时候，其实<span style="max-width: 100%;outline: 0px;zoom: 1;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;font-weight: 700 !important;">已经是在增强对自己的爱</span>——</span></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"></section><section style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);outline: 0px;zoom: 1;line-height: 2em;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;font-size: 15px;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;">多出来的这一点疲惫，你可能很快就会忘记，但是，感受到自己能够关怀别人、有能力帮助别人，这样的满足会长时间留在心中，比起让自己吃点好的、喝点儿好的，这是一种更高层次的爱。</span></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="2484" style="white-space: normal;max-width: 100%;font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Helvetica Neue, PingFang SC, Hiragino Sans GB, Microsoft YaHei UI, Microsoft YaHei, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;background-color: rgb(255, 255, 255);color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-size: 16px;line-height: 25.6px;text-align: center;border-width: 0px;border-style: none;border-color: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;"><section data-width="89%" style="margin: 10px auto;max-width: 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