好关系胜过好教育！父母一定要知道亲子沟通的7个密码

gongyi020 发表于 2022-6-22 16:38:18

好关系胜过好教育！父母一定要知道亲子沟通的7个密码

<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); text-align: right; line-height: 1.5em;"> <p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); text-align: right; line-height: 1.5em;"><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: -apple-system-font, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="89224" style="outline: 0px;"><section style="margin: 10px auto; outline: 0px;"><section style="margin-top: -16px; padding: 30px; outline: 0px; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFnt, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; background-color: rgb(242, 244, 245); border-radius: 10px;"><section style="margin-top: 5px; outline: 0px; font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: normal;">教育不是给孩子挫败感，而是为孩子寻找优点和进步，以此激励孩子。激发孩子内在的力量，我们要逐渐从“给予型”的家长，转变为“赋能型”的家长。 </section><section style="margin-top: 15px; outline: 0px; font-family: -apple-system-font, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; min-height: 1em; text-align: right;">——萨姐</section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: -30px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; width: 556px; text-align: center;"> </section></section></section></section><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: -apple-system-font, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px;"><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="89224" style="outline: 0px;"><section style="outline: 0px;"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-bottom: -30px; outline: 0px; width: 556px; text-align: center;"> </section>作者：暖心原创首发：萨提亚育儿（ID：satiryuer）</section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); font-family: -apple-system-font, system-ui, Arial, sans-serif;"><section style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 微软雅黑, Helvetica, 微软雅黑, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; display: flex; justify-content: center;"> </section></section><p style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; color: rgba(0, 0, 0, 0.8); text-align: right; line-height: 1.5em;"> <p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">俗话说：“一两的关系胜过一吨的教育”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">亲子关系是教育中不可忽视的一道“命题”，它的好坏决定了父母在教育中的力量。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">而决定亲子关系好坏的关键词就是“沟通”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">它的真谛不是说服、不是言语控制，而是语言与孩子建立心与心的连接，用情商化解亲子冲突，让亲子关系做到“无距离”相处。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">有心理学家提出过亲子沟通的7个密码，教父母消除与孩子形成的“沟而不通”的局面。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">学会了，就能培养高情商的孩子。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">01<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">让孩子感受父母的“无力感”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在知乎上看到这样一个问题：<p style="margin: 24px 8px 0em; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">我批评孩子钢琴作业没练好，孩子怼回来一句“有本事你来啊”，我来不了，咋回她？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">其中有一位父亲说：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">我也遇到过这种问题，我就会回“我就是不会，来不了，你教教我呗。”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子听完话里面乖乖做好，微笑着保持自己的骄傲。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">教育，并不是靠势力去压倒孩子，适当的让孩子彰显自己的能力，它会让教育变得更有“味道”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">格林先生在《放下自我，敢于装傻》中说：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="26" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">教育的目的是让孩子成长，而不是彰显自己的聪明才华。</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母可以有自己的权威，但也要让孩子感受到自己的“无力感”。<section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">比如：</section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="42" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section><section style="margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">“我身体不好，工作压力大，你能不能帮帮妈妈？”</section><section style="margin: 24px 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">“妈妈不会这个，你可以教一教我吗？”…</section></section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母的这种“求助”并不丢人，而是利用自己“软”的一面直击孩子内心，让他懂得体谅和照顾父母。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">与父母的强势相比，有时候“以柔克刚”的方式更能进入孩子的内心。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">02<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母要学会“忽视问题”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">有一位朋友，最近在亲子阅读上遇到了障碍。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">她说：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">陪孩子读书，担心有些书她读不懂看不透，就会在旁边与她沟通，给她解释。没想到孩子因此不耐烦，连书也不想看了。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">其实，这就是父母常做的事。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">担心孩子出错，时不时地为孩子纠正错误。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">但是，孩子的成长本来就需要“试误”吸取生活中的教训和经验。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母的纠正会让孩子觉得“我犯了错误，我很失败”，挫败感的滋生让孩子产生抵触心理。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在《亲子沟通密码》一书中提到：父母要尝试着“忽视问题”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母不要盯着孩子的错误，要把“过失”看成是和“成就”同等重要的教育。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">“用目标引导孩子自己解决问题”是沟通中该保持的原则。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在“洋葱提问法”这样提到过：当孩子犯错或者有困难时，先问他五个问题。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">你这样做，是想达到什么样的目标？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">还有吗？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">那你想这样，又是为了实现怎样的目标？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">这又是为了什么？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">你觉得怎样做才能达到这个目标？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">养孩子并不是去改变他们的错误，而是在错误中打开孩子的思维，鼓励孩子自我发展。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">让孩子自己想改变，教育才有意义。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">03<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">善于“读心”，洞察孩子的需求<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">看了一段来自15岁男孩的采访。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">他问道：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="43" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">“为什么我会怀疑父母是不是真的爱我，为什么我想逃离，为什么他们根本不知道我想要什么。”</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px 0em; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> </section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">男孩从小到大的人生都在被父母安排：</section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="35" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section><section style="margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不想学钢琴，被逼着学；</section><section style="margin: 24px 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">每天都被拿来比来比去；</section><section style="margin: 24px 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母要求他一定要考上名校…</section></section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">为了反抗父母，曾经试图离家出走15次。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">他说：“我屏蔽他们的朋友圈，删掉他们的qq，就是因为想逃离，想要自由。”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在很多父母看来，这个男孩是非常地叛逆。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">但是冰冻三尺非一日之寒，孩子的所有问题都有父母的“祸根”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">只有安排，没有交流的家庭模式最伤人，因为从未给过孩子满足感。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子最需要的是有“心”，能够读懂自己的家长，因此教育中父母要学会“读心”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">把行为层面上的沟通换成心灵上的交流，洞察孩子的需要，才能让孩子“接纳”我们。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在《陪伴式成长》里讲到：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="49" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">父母应该做“船长型家长”，对孩子充满关爱、态度明确；关键时刻提出建设性意见，为孩子自信冷静地负责。</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">我们要随时允许孩子开口说出自己的想法。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">找到孩子想要的，并把他的需求值放到最大，让孩子实现自我价值。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">读懂孩子的内心，才能让孩子感受父母的爱意和用心。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">04<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">连接情感，要“看到”孩子的情绪<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">养孩子最怕孩子闹情绪。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">一旦孩子发脾气，就想暴躁的阻止。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子一有情绪，首先臭骂一顿，再让孩子反省；哭闹不止时，劈头盖脸的教训一顿…<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">为什么我们处理孩子的情绪如此急躁？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">因为很多父母都不懂得“照顾孩子”，总以为“小孩子脾气大一点，收拾一顿就老实了”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在《看见孩子，看见自己：与不开心的孩子聊聊内心冲突》里说：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">真正成熟的父母，不会只想着去处理孩子的问题，而是先处理孩子的感受。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">照顾好孩子的感受，父母的道理才会有意义。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">胡可的儿子小鱼儿有一次要求妈妈给他组装“机器人”，被拒绝后就闹起了情绪。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当时胡可说：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="40" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">我知道你很想玩变身玩具，也知道你很想带回家，但是这些都是不可以的，规则不允许。</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">胡可用了“我知道”几个字，就代表着理解和接纳。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">认同孩子的感受，会让孩子信任父母，此时父母的说教就变得有意义了。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">“先同理情绪，再讨论问题”是缓解情绪的良方。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当孩子知道你很在乎他的感受时，他就会“信服”你。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">05<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">善用“同频共振”原理，让孩子自我接纳<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">一位妈妈说：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">女儿现在上高一，上课跟不上进度，产生厌学的情绪，甚至不想活下去。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">现在她对女儿束手无策。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">养孩子总会有无数个崩溃的瞬间。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">面对越来越脆弱的孩子，父母最大的“盾牌”就是好心态。<section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">儿童心理专家田宏杰说：</section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="78" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section><section style="margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">与沮丧一起被压抑的还有无能感和力量感，我们只有帮孩子跨越挫折，他才会获得力量。</section><section style="margin: 24px 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">力量的最佳来源是感同身受，尤其是与孩子“同频共振”会轻松地把好心态传递给孩子。</section></section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">两个人在同一个频道上，父母把自身“化危为机”的经历传递给孩子，会给孩子注入最大的能量。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">吴尊的女儿三岁学习芭蕾舞，在第一次比赛就失败了。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当时女儿告诉他自己很想赢，但是在比赛的时候还是输了，所以出现了精神崩溃。<p style="margin: 24px 8px 0em; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">于是吴尊就和女儿分享了他年少时代表文莱和中国打比赛，最终以26比128失败的惨痛经历。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">用同样的经历去引导孩子，是给孩子最好的“反挫力”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母把“接纳自己”的方式感染给孩子，就能让孩子学会接纳和面对。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">06<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">减少负面评价，学会“观察”孩子<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在教育纪录片《生命·成长》中有一位心理学教授这样说：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="26" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest">想找到爱孩子的正确方式，第一步就要学会观察你的孩子。</section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">“观察”即是了解孩子，我们的重心是：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">比如：当孩子考试没考好，很多父母要改变一件事，而不是处理一种情绪。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母都会给孩子贴上“笨、猪脑子”的标签，这是情绪处理法，会让孩子自卑。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">如果父母关注的是“没考好的原因”，就是结果的处理法，它会帮孩子找到方法。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">心理学上有一个“歌德自然观察法”：<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当我们不带任何评判观察植物的姿态、颜色和形态，会深刻体会到它的自然。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">而在教育中，父母如果不带任何的负面评价，就会看清孩子的内在本质。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子其实是既聪明又敏感的，他知道父母想要的是什么。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">那么父母也该明白孩子需要的是什么。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">因此，我们要创造“观察”孩子的机会，用眼睛和耳朵来替代嘴。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不批判：在孩子与我们的设想有出入时“提醒却不插入”，用眼睛看到孩子“想怎么做”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">倾听孩子的反馈，找到解读孩子心灵的密码，从而找到支持、帮助、引导孩子的依据。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">07<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">善用肯定的言辞给孩子“价值”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">李玫瑾教授在一次讲座中谈到一个13岁的男孩因为压力大而出现精神崩溃。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">男孩说：“我就是个垃圾，什么都干不好的垃圾。”<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">为什么孩子的挫败感这么深？<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">因为孩子没有了“价值感”，便把生活变成了负能量。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">李玫瑾教授提出观点：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="74" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">我们应该学会一种大度的教育，有时候孩子在学习上失败了，已经很沮丧了，我们就不应该再打击孩子的自尊，应该要勇于找到孩子其他的闪光点，去肯定他，鼓励他。</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母最该做的教育是为孩子“创造价值”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">我们要给孩子一种“你本来就很好”的信念，他才会遇见困难不会出现胆怯。<section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在电影《奇迹男孩》中，奥吉因为被霸凌而打了人，校长对他说：</section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="50" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section><section style="margin-right: 16px; margin-bottom: 24px; margin-left: 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">虽然殴打同学的行为不能通融，但是，我知道友谊是值得捍卫的；</section><section style="margin: 24px 16px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 2em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">请你继续努力，保持你良善的品质，向你致敬。</section></section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px 0em; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">校长从奥吉的闪光点中找到他的正面价值和意义，就是一种价值的肯定。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">教育不是给孩子挫败感，而是为孩子寻找优点和进步，以此激励孩子。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">激发孩子内在的力量，我们要逐渐从“给予型”的家长，转变为“赋能型”的家长。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">赞赏和鼓励会成为孩子最大的“帮手”。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(123, 12, 0); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">08<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">《亲子沟通密码》一书中有一句话：<blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="31" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;line-height: 2em;">你要相信，你的孩子并不是你的孩子，他其实是你人生的一道光芒。</section></section></blockquote><p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子生下来，就是为了彰显内在的荣光。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母与孩子的“言心合一”是哺育健康关系的核心，它才能谱写孩子的未来。<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母摘掉有色眼镜，改善固有的刻板印象，对孩子“软”着来；<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不做孩子成长的“钉子户”，学会用带光的眼睛看孩子；<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">把“心”放大一点，把“距离”缩小一点，为孩子提供心理营养；<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">把语言的艺术用在孩子的成长上，给予孩子希望和力量；<p style="margin: 24px 8px; clear: both; min-height: 1em; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(51, 51, 51); font-family: mp-quote, -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 17px; text-align: justify; line-height: 1.75em; box-sizing: border-box !important;">把孩子培养成未来的人，惊艳所有人。-END- 转载声明：本文转载自「萨提亚育儿」，搜索「satiryuer」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/MsXBk6qUym3rfTvbGbWgXw">阅读原文</a>]。</div>

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好关系胜过好教育！父母一定要知道亲子沟通的7个密码