当孩子情绪失控时，细数9个沟通案例，养成孩子高情商
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="92111" data-mpa-powered-by="yiban.io"><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="92772" style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="92772" style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section data-width="100%" style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 2; box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify;"><section style="margin: 10px 0%;display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;text-align: left;justify-content: flex-start;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="display: inline-block; vertical-align: middle; width: auto; min-width: 10%; max-width: 100%; flex: 0 0 auto; height: auto; align-self: center; border-width: 0px; border-top-right-radius: 0px; border-right-style: none; border-right-color: rgb(62, 62, 62); padding-left: 5px; box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="text-align: center;justify-content: center;display: flex;flex-flow: row nowrap;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="display: inline-block;vertical-align: middle;width: auto;min-width: 10%;max-width: 100%;flex: 0 0 auto;height: auto;align-self: center;box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="transform: rotateZ(45deg);-webkit-transform: rotateZ(45deg);-moz-transform: rotateZ(45deg);-o-transform: rotateZ(45deg);box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="display: inline-block;width: 24px;height: 24px;vertical-align: top;overflow: hidden;background-color: rgb(255, 222, 23);border-style: solid;border-width: 1px;border-color: rgb(62, 62, 62);box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="transform: rotateZ(315deg);-webkit-transform: rotateZ(315deg);-moz-transform: rotateZ(315deg);-o-transform: rotateZ(315deg);box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="margin-right: 0%; margin-left: 0%; transform: translate3d(-3px, 0px, 0px); box-sizing: border-box;"><section style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62);font-size: 24px;box-sizing: border-box;"><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></p></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;"><br></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;">你家娃有没有这些情绪失控的时候：</span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当孩子情绪失控时，难道真的一点办法都没有吗？</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><br></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 2px; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size: 10px; font-family: 微软雅黑; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important;"> ·01· </span></strong></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子为什么会情绪失控？</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">情绪的英文是Emotion，有种解释是Emotion= Energy in Motion，即情绪是流动的能量。</span></section><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(64, 118, 0);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 1px;">管理情绪，并非压制它，而是需要给予出口，让它流动起来。</span></p><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">孩子对情绪的认识、表达，还处在懵懵懂懂的阶段。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">他们大喊大叫、摔东西、发脾气，都是在用直接的行为，来表达自己的情绪。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;height: auto;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;"></span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">而情绪本身，其实，是有轻重之分的。</span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">如果把它比喻为一个情绪温度表，温度越高，等级也越高，情绪便越激烈。</span></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="14"><section style="margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 10px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 3px; border-style: solid; border-color: rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(117, 117, 118); border-radius: 3px;"><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 1.75em; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); border-color: rgb(117, 117, 118); margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不同的情绪等级，还有着不同的身体语言信号。</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 1.75em; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); border-color: rgb(117, 117, 118); margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br></section><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1.5px; line-height: 1.75em; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">0-60度，</strong>属于轻度的情绪波动，例如不耐烦、说话没好气等；</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br></section><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">60-90度</strong>，属于中度情绪，有比较明显的生气，会大喊大叫、扔东西、摔门、挑衅父母等；</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br></section><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">90-100度</strong>，属于极度的情绪爆发，往往伴随着孩子竭斯底里的尖叫大哭、恶语毒言的诅咒，甚至拳脚相加的行为。</span></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;height: auto;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;"></span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">如果我们能比坏脾气早一步，及时察觉到孩子的情绪温度，在达到爆发区之前就积极介入，那么，很多时候，也许就能避免孩子的情绪，发展到不可收拾的地步。</span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><br></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; background-color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 2px; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size: 10px; font-family: 微软雅黑; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important;"> ·02· </span></strong></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母应该如何面对孩子发脾气？</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">《正面管教》里一个挺形象的理论——″掌心大脑″，清晰又简单地演示了当情绪来临的时候，大脑是如何丧失理智的。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;height: auto;"></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">我们的大脑，就像一个拳头，大拇指是最可怕的情绪怪兽，另外四个指头是″大脑盖子″。</span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当我们平静时，大拇指放在手心里握成拳头，″大脑盖子″是合上的，情绪怪兽也就被关在里面。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;height: auto;"></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><strong style="font-size: 15px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">而当我们发脾气，与人发生冲突时，情绪开关被触碰，四个指头一张开就打开了″大脑盖子″，情绪怪兽瞬间上身。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">很多时候我们以为对孩子的情绪表示理解和认同，他们就能平静下来。但仅仅认同情绪还不够。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">等孩子情绪缓和下来，引导Ta调整认知，从另一种角度看待引起Ta困扰的事情。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">例如：″玩具被同学不小心弄坏了，你觉得很生气。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">但是你打人没办法让玩具恢复原状。我们一起想想看有没有更好的方法，好不好？″</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); background-color: rgb(64, 118, 0); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); font-size: 10px; font-family: 微软雅黑; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(127, 127, 127); font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(255, 255, 255); box-sizing: border-box !important;"> ·03· </span></strong></strong></strong></span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">细数9个沟通案例，养成孩子高情商</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">在孩子闹脾气时，父母的一言一行直接影响着孩子。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">下面不同的沟通、处理方式，值得所有父母思考，一起来看看吧。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">1. 当孩子发脾气扔东西时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span>“不要再乱扔东西了！”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你扔这些玩具，我会以为你不喜欢和它们玩了。是不是发生了什么事情？”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当孩子发脾气的时候，父母越说什么我偏不要做什么。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不如换个角度来跟他们说话，告诉他们<strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">″你正在做什么，这个行为无法表达你想说的意思。″</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">2. 当孩子生气动手打人时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span>“你再打人试试！”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你生气、你愤怒都是很正常，但是打人就不对了。”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">我们要明确一点：</span><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">情绪是没有错的，错的是表达方式。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">打人、踢人这种伤害他人、伤害自己都是不被允许的，拿别的东西出气更不是解决愤怒最好的方式。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;height: auto;"></span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">3. 当孩子做错事需要受到惩罚时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span>“够了，你到那边站着，没我允许不能出来。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“我们可以找个地方冷静下来。”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">这种计时类的惩罚，只会让孩子的愤怒再度升级。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">对孩子来说，知道自己做错了什么，比无意义的惩罚更重要。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">4. 当孩子跟父母对着干时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span>“现在就给我去刷牙/吃饭/睡觉！”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你想要先给小兔子刷牙，还是先给自己刷牙？”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">对孩子来说，发脾气是他们想要掌握主动权的方式之一，当他们想要独立就会发脾气。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">这时候父母就要用一些小技巧，给孩子一个巧妙的选择：<strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">不让他们选择做或者不做，而是选择什么时候做，或者以什么方式做。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;height: auto;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;"></span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(64, 118, 0);"><strong style="color: rgb(0, 122, 170);font-size: 15px;">5. 当孩子听不进你的话时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“跟你说那么多遍，你到底有没有听进去？”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“我说一遍，然后你小小声地在我耳边重复一遍，这样我就知道你有没有听进去了。”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">用不同的音量说话，孩子会因为很好玩记住这件事。重复一遍，还能起到巩固的效果。</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">越是大声地吼他们，他们越不容易听进去。</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">6. 当孩子无心学习时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span>“不要走神，集中注意力。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span>“这个很难是吗？那我们先休息17分钟，再回来。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">根据研究生产力的公式，休息</span><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">17分钟</strong></span><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">效果是最佳的。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">中场休息时间能帮助孩子从重压的环境中抽离出来，集中精神，重新再来。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;height: auto;"></span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">在孩子平时做作业、弹钢琴或者练习时，都可以用这个方式找回注意力。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">7. 当孩子在公众场合哭闹时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span><span style="font-size: 15px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你这样很丢人。”</span><br></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);"></span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span>“我们找个没人的地方，解决一下这件事。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在这种情况下，如果加倍训斥孩子，事情发展可能会更糟糕。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">将他们带走，找一个适合的地方解决这件事，既避免了事情的进一步恶化，也能有个更好的结局。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">8. 当孩子无理取闹时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你在无理取闹。”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“你现在很难受，我们一起来面对。”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">心理学家约翰·戈德曼在他的书《培养高情商的孩子》里分享了一个故事：3岁的女儿因为妈妈顾着招待突然来访的客人，没时间和自己玩，就生气地在沙发上乱画。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">发现后问她怎么回事，她拿着画笔就说：″我不太清楚。″</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;background-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(238, 237, 235);background-size: 22px;background-position: center center;background-repeat: no-repeat;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;height: auto;visibility: visible !important;width: 100%;"></span><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;">戈德曼很生气，他告诉女儿，自己很生气、很失望，因为她选择了撒谎。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="font-size: 15px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">他没有像往常一样理解孩子，而是一起清理了沙发上的痕迹，并告诉了她</span><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">关于说实话的重要性</strong>。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">最后，才和女儿讨论今天的情绪和行为。</span></section><section data-tools="135编辑器" data-id="14"><section style="margin-top: 10px; margin-bottom: 10px; padding: 10px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; border-width: 1px 1px 1px 3px; border-style: solid; border-color: rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(238, 238, 238) rgb(117, 117, 118); border-radius: 3px;"><section style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; min-height: 1em; font-weight: bold; letter-spacing: 2px; line-height: 1.75em; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); border-color: rgb(117, 117, 118); margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">约翰·戈德曼认为：</span></section><section style="max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1.5px; line-height: 1.75em; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; margin-left: 16px; margin-right: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">″如果孩子和父母有着坚固的感情联结，当父母伤心、失望或生气时，孩子的心里会很难受，以至于他们愿意成为一个守规矩的孩子。″</span></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; color: rgb(64, 118, 0); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">9. 当孩子情绪崩溃大哭时</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">×</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“我数321，你给我停下来！”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(172, 29, 16);">√</span><span style="max-width: 100%;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);">“如果绿色代表平静，黄色代表沮丧，红色代表生气。我现在就是从黄色的房间走向红色的房间。你呢？你现在是在哪个房间，我们怎么走能回到绿色的房间？”</span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">当我们生气时，身体会发生应激反应，让我们产生不安全感。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">父母除了陪着孩子，还需要给情绪一个可视的形象，让捉摸不定、抽象的情绪变得具体，这样能更有效地帮助孩子管理情绪。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">我们先满足了孩子们对于父母依赖的需要，才能培养他们独立自主的品格。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">帮助孩子管理好情绪，有以下几点可参考：</span></section><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><li style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; line-height: 2em; letter-spacing: 2px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); box-sizing: border-box !important;">同理共情，认可孩子的情绪；</span></p></li><li style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; line-height: 2em; letter-spacing: 2px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); box-sizing: border-box !important;">划定界限，让孩子为自己的行为负责；</span></p></li><li style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; max-width: 100%; min-height: 1em; line-height: 2em; letter-spacing: 2px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(117, 117, 118); box-sizing: border-box !important;">正确引导，教会孩子管理情绪的方法。</span></p></li></ul><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">一个孩子在伤心、生气或害怕时，也是他最需要父母的时候。</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="max-width: 100%; font-size: 15px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="max-width: 100%; color: rgb(63, 63, 63); box-sizing: border-box !important;">认同孩子的情绪时，我们也在教孩子如何安慰自己，这种能力将让他受益一生。</span></strong></span></section><p style="margin-right: 16px; margin-left: 16px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; min-height: 1em; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); widows: 1; font-size: 16px; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 1.5em; letter-spacing: 0.5px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 13px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important;">* 本文来源于网络，</span><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 1px; box-sizing: border-box !important;">仅用于心理学爱好人士交流学习使用，并无任何商业用途。版权归原作者所有，如有侵权，请联系删除。</span></span></p><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; widows: 1; font-family: 微软雅黑; color: rgb(12, 12, 12); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(240, 84, 84); line-height: 1.75em; text-align: right; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section></section></section><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; widows: 1; font-family: 微软雅黑; color: rgb(12, 12, 12); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 15px; letter-spacing: 1px; line-height: 2; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="margin-top: 7px; margin-bottom: 7px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; align-items: center; display: flex; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="padding-right: 5px; padding-left: 5px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; display: inline-block; vertical-align: bottom; width: auto; flex: 0 1 auto; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-align: left; justify-content: flex-start; font-size: 0px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; display: inline-block; vertical-align: top; overflow: hidden; height: 6px; width: 6px; border-width: 1px; border-radius: 50px; border-style: none; border-color: rgb(0, 0, 0); background-color: rgb(73, 139, 27); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float:left;line-height:0;width:0;vertical-align:top;"></svg></section></section></section></section><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; display: inline-block; vertical-align: bottom; width: auto; flex: 1 0 1px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section powered-by="xiumi.us" style="margin-top: 0.5em; margin-bottom: 0.5em; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; border-top: 1px dashed rgb(73, 139, 27); box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float:left;line-height:0;width:0;vertical-align:top;"></svg></section></section></section></section></section></section></section><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-size: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br></section></section></section>转载声明：本文转载自「天智心理咨询」，搜索「SJZTianZhixinlizixun」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/N2TAwKp6PL2J3BTlbx-Ugg">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p>
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