和青春期孩子相处：陪伴是标配，共情是高配，那么顶配是什么？
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><section style="box-sizing: border-box; text-align: justify; font-size: 16px;"><section style="display: inline;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="box-sizing: border-box;"></section></section><section style="max-width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><svg viewBox="0 0 1 1" style="float:left;line-height:0;width:0;vertical-align:top;"></svg></section><p style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><br></p><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 13px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">作者：可乐妈</span></p><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 13px;color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">来源：男孩派（ID: boy666dj）</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">面对青春期的孩子，很多时候考验的是父母的耐心、细心和智慧。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">想要让孩子平稳度过这一时期，陪伴、共情和智慧缺一不可。</p></section><p style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><section style="text-align: center;margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;line-height: 0;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="max-width: 100%;vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 20%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 100%;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;height: auto !important;"></span></section></section><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;">陪伴是标配</span></strong><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;">青春期的孩子，比我们想象中更需要父母</span></strong></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">青春期的孩子看似渴望独立，但实际上，他们的内心依旧渴望着被关爱、被陪伴。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">只有父母听见了孩子叛逆背后的呼唤，才会知道用何种姿态与他们相处。</strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">记得曾看过这样一则新闻：一个14岁的男孩叛逆、厌学，父亲便辞职带着他自驾游遍了大半个中国。</p></section><p style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><section style="text-align: center;margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;line-height: 0;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="max-width: 100%;vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 95%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 100%;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;height: auto !important;"></span></section></section><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">这段旅程不仅让男孩见到了更大的世界，也让原本矛盾重重的父子重归于好。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">旅行结束后，男孩表示愿意回学校，从此好好念书。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">《陪孩子走过青春期》一书中写道：</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“无论青春期的孩子表面上如何高冷，装得多么不需要我们，父母仍然是他们的天，家仍然是他们内心最需要的安全港湾。”</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">经常跟孩子聊聊天、认真倾听他们的想法、陪孩子解决生活和学习中遇到的难题……</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">用不了多久，你就会欣喜地发现，曾经那个懂事、贴心的孩子又回来了。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br></p></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;line-height: 0;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="max-width: 100%;vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 20%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 100%;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;height: auto !important;"></span></section></section><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;">共情是标配<br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span></strong></p><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;">高情商的父母从不会一味讲道理</span></strong></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">教育家卢梭在《爱弥儿》一书中再三强调：<span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">跟孩子讲道理，是世上最无效的教育。</strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">特别是对青春期的孩子而言，道理不仅让他们感到厌烦，还会激发他们的逆反心理。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">在综艺《变形计》中，有个名叫郑子豪的男孩，非常喜欢玩游戏。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">为此，做律师的爸爸很是看不惯。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">一找到机会，就会滔滔不绝地对着儿子说教：</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“你知不知道打游戏是不对的？”</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“你这样打游戏是会上瘾的，就像抽鸦片一样，玩物丧志。”</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“你要搞你的学习，你只有学习搞好了，才能搞一搞娱乐的东西。”</span></p></section><p style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><section style="text-align: center;margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;line-height: 0;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="max-width: 100%;vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 95%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 100%;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;height: auto !important;"></span></section></section><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">然而听得多了，子豪就学会了左耳朵进右耳朵出。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">不仅对爸爸的话置若罔闻，反而愈发上瘾了。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;">其实，面对青春期的孩子，少一点高高在上的说教，多一点“我理解你”的共情，孩子才有变好的可能。</span></strong></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">电影《垫底辣妹》中，女孩沙耶加的妈妈就是一个擅长共情的家长。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">当女儿付出了努力，成绩依然没有起色崩溃大哭时，她没有像其他父母那样，说一些“你应该再努力一点”之类的大道理，而是温柔地说：</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“如果觉得太累了，放弃也没有关系，你已经很努力了呀。”</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">正因有妈妈的理解和支持做后盾，原本贪玩、叛逆的沙耶加才能逐渐走上正轨。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;">最终，如愿考取了心仪的大学。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">就像《共情力》的作者乔拉·米卡利说的：</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">“如果没有共情，我们就无法相互寻求支持、鼓励、温存和爱。”</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">与其自以为是地向孩子讲道理、提建议，不如站在孩子的角度，体察他们的困难，好好理解、感受和接纳他们。</strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62);box-sizing: border-box;">这样，孩子才能看到爱与希望，成长为我们的骄傲。</span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(62, 62, 62);box-sizing: border-box;"><br></span></p></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-top: 10px;margin-bottom: 10px;line-height: 0;box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><section style="max-width: 100%;vertical-align: middle;display: inline-block;line-height: 0;width: 20%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;vertical-align: middle;max-width: 100%;width: 100%;box-sizing: border-box;height: auto !important;"></span></section></section><section style="font-size: 15px; line-height: 1.8; letter-spacing: 1px; padding-right: 10px; padding-left: 10px; box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">以柔克刚是顶配<br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></strong></span></p><p style="text-align: center; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="font-size: 17px;box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">赢得孩子比赢了孩子更重要</strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">一位心理咨询师曾讲过一件事：</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">女儿上初中时有点偏科，他想帮助女儿，女儿却不愿意。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">他思前想后，没有勉强女儿，而是给她写了一封真挚的“求职信”。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">他向女儿毛遂自荐，要当女儿的“学习顾问”。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">如果女儿同意了，就要向自己支付一块钱的月薪；等女儿觉得不需要时，也可以随时解聘自己。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">在他“以退为进”的沟通下，女儿愉快地答应了，学业上的问题也随之迎刃而解。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;">所以，面对青春期孩子的“攻击”，我们要做的不是硬碰硬，而是以柔克刚，用退一步的智慧引导孩子成长。</span></strong></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">青春期孩子的大脑发育尚不完全，冲动、叛逆、爱面子。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">你手段强硬，他能比你强硬一百倍，跟青春期的孩子较劲，最终只会两败俱伤。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(8, 80, 212);box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">这时，比起强硬的逼迫，柔和的退让显得更有力量。</strong></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">父母有了“柔软”的智慧，多一分理解，多一分包容，给成长留下了空间，教育也就有了出路。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">对于青春期的孩子，很多时候，我们或许无法理解他们的冲动、易怒和敏感。</p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;">但我们仍然可以给予他们陪伴、共情和无条件的爱，与他们携手度过人生中的重要时刻，一起走向更加勇敢、坚定的明天。</p></section><p style="box-sizing: border-box;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></p><section style="text-align: unset; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; font-size: 13px; color: rgb(160, 160, 160); line-height: 1.5;" powered-by="xiumi.us"><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);text-align: unset;box-sizing: border-box;">作者：</span></strong><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);text-align: unset;box-sizing: border-box;">可乐妈<br style="box-sizing: border-box;"></span></p><p style="box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">来源：</span></strong><span style="color: rgb(136, 136, 136);box-sizing: border-box;">男孩派（ID: boy666dj），关于养育男孩的干货，这里都有；关于养育男孩的苦甜，这里都懂；家有小男孩，欢迎关注男孩派。</span></p><p style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); box-sizing: border-box;"><strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">广东教育传媒</strong>转发，投稿或商业合作回复关键词 <strong style="box-sizing: border-box;">投稿/合作</strong><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box; color: rgb(97, 92, 92); letter-spacing: 0.544px;"></strong></span></p><section><mp-common-profile class="custom_select_card mp_profile_iframe" data-pluginname="mpprofile" data-weuitheme="light" data-id="MzI5MTA0MzkyOQ==" data-headimg="http://mmbiz.qpic.cn/mmbiz_png/icAWy2QLqJNxjQx4Br7UVZdEoSUg5ibzhnFXsxsxSsiaEhdHN5Jvcwra4jrdwrJeia9UQOgAzqsHrbARnhnMkYEDuQ/0?wx_fmt=png" data-nickname="广东教育传媒" data-alias="guangdongjiaoyucm" data-signature="广东教育传媒是广东省教育厅宣传机构广东教育杂志社的官微，发布广东教育权威资讯，关注教育热点，助力教师专业成长和家长家庭教育，整合《广东教育》《广东第二课堂》《高教探索》《师道》等媒体资源，打造零距离教育服务平台。" data-from="0" data-weui-theme="light"></mp-common-profile></section></section></section><p style="display: none;"><mp-style-type data-value="10000"></mp-style-type></p><br>转载声明：本文转载自「广东教育传媒」，搜索「guangdongjiaoyucm」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/3C5q5zFlkOV-e-JkemkUmg">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p>
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