童年受的伤，是怎么影响我们一生？丨童年阴影评估
<div class="wx_rich_media_content" id="jsWxContainer"><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;text-align: center;visibility: visible !important;width: auto !important;"></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><section style="outline: 0px; text-align: center; visibility: visible;"><br></section></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; text-align: center; visibility: visible;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);visibility: visible;">01</strong></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;visibility: visible;">当你回想你的童年时，有幸福的感觉吗？<br style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;"></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;visibility: visible;">可能有些人已经不记得自己的童年是怎样的了，有些会不假思索回答幸福。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;visibility: visible;">还有一部分人可能心会咯噔一下，然后不禁起一身鸡皮疙瘩。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;visibility: visible;">这部分人在本该天真快乐的时期，却默默承受着无力抵抗的伤害。<strong style="outline: 0px;visibility: visible;">就算这种伤害在小时候搁浅了，也会在成年后的某个时刻被唤醒。</strong></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">我以前有个舍友，是这部分人之一，她话不多不喜欢和别人接触，独立得惊人，好像她生活里不需要任何人帮忙。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">她外表很文静，但却有颗很暴躁的心，有次快递运送出了些问题，她能和快递小哥电话吵到楼下同学都上来看看怎么回事。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">她还有个很奇怪但潜意识里存在的动作，当别人在她不经意时靠近她或者递东西给她时，她会下意识躲闪，就好像别人会打她一样。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">很奇怪的人是吧？我的同学都这么觉得。直到有一天，我才了解这种奇怪并不是没理由的。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">那天，远远看到她在角落打电话，情绪并不好，隐约可以听到她对电话里的人说“你直接报警吧，我真希望他去死！”，之后挂了电话，一直坐在角落楼梯发呆。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">我走近她旁边坐下了，什么也没问，我们就看着天际的白云发呆。沉默近10分钟她开口了，有两段让我印象特别深：</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">“我知道自己很离群很奇怪，但如果你知道我经历了些什么可能就不会奇怪了。从小我爸妈感情不好，经常吵架，砸东西。我爸是酒鬼，一喝醉就发疯一样打我和我妈，手里有什么就拿什么打，小板凳、皮带、痒痒挠...应有尽有。”</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">“我从小就好强，想保护我妈，强大到好像什么都能做，其实我也很无助害怕...我不信任这个世界，也没安全感，甚至别人不经意的动作，我都以为是要打我...真希望结婚的人都想清楚，不要祸害孩子。”</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">可以说，这一刻我才真正了解她。从小在父母争吵中长大，极度缺乏安全感；披着盔甲保护妈妈，好强独立又孤独；被喝醉的爸爸打成习惯，所以别人不经意的动作会让她条件反射躲闪。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">她说从小她就活得很明白，什么都懂，她恨家人，甚至恨婚姻。这些伤害就像影子一样跟着她，甚至影响着她自我评价、人际关系、情绪管理...</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">突然想起莫里斯·桑达克说的：</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">不要轻视童年时代的恐惧与不安，它们将伴随人的一生；不要低估孩子的洞察力，他们什么都知道。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"><br style="outline: 0px;"></span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"></span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;width: 677px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"></span></strong><br style="outline: 0px;"></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);">02</strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">在童年，也许是因为首次摄入世界的影像，才对任何伤害感触很深；也许是因为年龄小，才那么无助和无法承受。这些伤害甚至潜移默化影响我们人格成长、人际关系、对世界认知等方方面面。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">从小缺少父母陪伴的人，可能会比较叛逆；小时候遭受过性侵、猥亵的人，可能会害怕接近异性；在暴力下成长的孩子，脾气会比较差；从小被要求优秀的人，可能隐藏着深深的自卑...</span></strong></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">背负创伤成长的人，不仅会惩罚自己，也会将伤害投射在与别人相处过程中，不信任他人，甚至会模仿伤害行为。比如言语刻薄伤害别人，更甚者实施暴力伤害...</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;width: 677px !important;visibility: visible !important;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;text-align: center;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);"><br style="outline: 0px;"></strong></span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(123, 12, 0);">03</strong></span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><strong style="outline: 0px;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 15px;"><br style="outline: 0px;"></span></strong></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">我们或多或少都有童年阴影，它是所有伤害中最难被察觉、影响最大和难以愈合的一种。<br style="outline: 0px;"></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">有些时间久了，被我们遗忘，有些我们甚至不知道这原来也是一种伤害，但我们终其一生在为它的影响买单。</span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">我们无法改变过去，但能与创伤共生，当认识到它的存在之后，我们可以主动去弥补童年的缺失、去降低它的影响，去找到更完整的自己。</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">就像心理学家埃里克森说的：</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px;"><span style="outline: 0px;color: rgb(63, 63, 63);font-size: 15px;letter-spacing: 0.2px;">从成年期开始，人除了完成自己本身的成长任务，其实还肩负着另一个巨大使命：<strong style="outline: 0px;">去补完童年缺失的品质，让自己成为一个更完整的人。</strong></span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; line-height: 1.75em; text-align: center;"><br></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; padding-right: 1em; padding-left: 1em; outline: 0px; font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.544px; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); text-align: center; line-height: 1.75em;"><span style="outline: 0px;font-size: 12px;"></span></section><section style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; line-height: 27.2px;"><section style="padding: 10px;outline: 0px;text-align: center;border-width: 1px;border-style: solid;border-color: rgb(223, 223, 223);"><section data-width="100%" style="margin-right: auto;margin-left: auto;padding-top: 10px;padding-bottom: 10px;outline: 0px;width: 776.471px;"><ul class="list-paddingleft-1" style="padding-left: 2.2em;outline: 0px;list-style-type: circle;"><li style="outline: 0px;"><section style="outline: 0px; text-align: left;"><span style="outline: 0px; color: rgb(136, 136, 136);">我们希望每个孤独的灵魂都能被看见，每个人的心事都能找到答案。</span></section></li></ul></section></section></section><section style="outline: 0px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;letter-spacing: 0.544px;text-align: center;visibility: visible !important;width: 574px !important;"></span></section><p style="display: none;"><mp-style-type data-value="3"></mp-style-type></p><br>转载声明：本文转载自「心灵成长家园」，搜索「xinling_JY」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/8zV03pK7msCsp3o-eKd1rQ">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p> 童年受的伤可能会对我们的一生产生深远的影响。这些伤包括身体上和心理上的伤害。身体伤害可能导致身体残疾或长期健康问题，并可能对我们的生活方式和自尊心产生影响。心理上的伤害可能包括虐待、忽视、性侵犯、家庭暴力、父母离异等，这些可能会导致信任问题、自尊心问题、焦虑、抑郁、慢性压力和情感障碍。
童年阴影评估是一种方法，可以帮助个体了解自己童年受伤的程度以及如何影响他们的成年生活。通过这种评估，个体可以获得更好的自我认识，认识到他们现在的问题与他们童年经历有关，并为需要的治疗或支持提供指导。
人类学家马格丽特·米德发明了童年阴影评估，该评估包括了对童年伤害进行分级，从而帮助个体评估其受伤的程度。这个分级系统可以让个体更好地了解自己，同时帮助治疗师为个体提供相应的治疗和支持。
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