教育孩子的10个黄金法则，家长抓住4条以上，孩子会很幸运

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max-width: 100%; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"></section></section></section></section><section powered-by="xmyeditor.com" data-md5="31ffe" style="margin: 15px 8px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; line-height: 24px; letter-spacing: 1px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section powered-by="xmyeditor.com" data-md5="31ffe" style="margin: 15px 8px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; clear: both; line-height: 24px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><p style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.5px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">在教育孩子的过程中，一点点方法的改变都有可能给孩子的未来带来巨大的变化。</span></strong><br></p><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; visibility: visible; margin-top: 16px; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; letter-spacing: 0.5px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">用最正确、最合适的方法，才能把孩子教育的更成功，才能让孩子成长的更优秀。<br></span></strong></section></section></section><section powered-by="xmyeditor.com" data-md5="31ffe" style="margin-left: auto; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; width: 252px; line-height: 16px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section powered-by="xmyeditor.com" data-md5="31ffe" style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; display: -webkit-box; -webkit-box-pack: center; -webkit-box-align: center; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><section powered-by="xmyeditor.com" data-md5="31ffe" style="margin-top: -3px; 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教育孩子的10个黄金法则，家长抓住4条以上，孩子会很幸运</section><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-variant-east-asian: normal; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center; line-height: 27.2px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(123, 139, 139); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0.54px; widows: 1; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"> 点上方绿标可收听妈妈抱团主播林静朗读音频</span></section><section style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-variant-east-asian: normal; letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; text-align: center; line-height: 27.2px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; font-size: 12px; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; letter-spacing: 0.544px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;vertical-align: middle;letter-spacing: 2px;font-family: 微软雅黑;white-space: pre-wrap;font-size: 15px;text-indent: 30px;color: rgb(255, 172, 170);line-height: 26.25px;display: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 21.9886px !important;"></span></strong></span></section></section></section></section></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 微软雅黑, Helvetica, 微软雅黑, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; min-height: 1em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: left; text-indent: 0em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">作者 | 哎呀妈</span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 微软雅黑, Helvetica, 微软雅黑, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; min-height: 1em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: left; text-indent: 0em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;">来源 | 妈妈抱团原创</span></section><section style="margin-right: 8px; margin-left: 8px; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: 微软雅黑, Helvetica, 微软雅黑, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: center; min-height: 1em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(110, 110, 110); font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; letter-spacing: 0.544px; text-align: left; text-indent: 0em; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><strong style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; text-align: center; color: rgb(0, 0, 0); font-family: -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; font-size: 16px; letter-spacing: 1px; visibility: visible; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;vertical-align: middle;font-size: 15px;color: rgb(38, 38, 38);caret-color: rgb(51, 51, 51);display: initial;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;width: 60px !important;"></span></strong></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">做父母不用考证，但不能不学习。</span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">每一个孩子的成长，都映射着父母的价值观、教育理念和方法。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">想给孩子最好的教育，父母要先更新自我。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">今天，送你10个教育孩子的黄金法则，助力你成为更好的家长，养出更优秀的孩子。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">归属法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">健康的家庭环境，是孩子成长的土壤</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">“家庭系统排列”创始人海灵格曾一针见血指出：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="42" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">许多孩子出现注意力不集中、厌学、沉迷网络、撒谎等问题，最大的成因通常和家庭环境有关。</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一个孩子，若是看不清自己在家里的位置，感受不到和父母的亲密联结，就容易产生强烈的缺失感。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">知乎一位网友分享，打小记忆里都是父母争吵、打架的画面，365天安静的日子屈指可数。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">每当家里锅碗瓢盆摔一地，咒骂声接连不断，他满脑子都是“他们不爱我，我不属于这个家”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">一个无法给孩子归属感和安全感的家，只会让孩子本能地排斥和抗拒。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因此，与其想方设法给孩子创造好的物质生活，不如让孩子在家里感受到最基本的理解和接纳。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">生活中难免有冲突纷争，父母也要注意正面引导，不要迁怒孩子。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">希望法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">教育要永远让孩子看到希望</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">见过很多对孩子苛刻的父母：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">明明有颗爱孩子的心，说出来的话却满是挖苦、贬低和嘲讽。<br></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">以为高标准严要求，能使孩子自律、上进。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">却不知，否定的话，或许能激起孩子一时的进取心，但长时间的打压，只会让孩子自暴自弃。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">魏书生曾把一位只考了8分的学生叫到跟前，先是任由学生吐槽抱怨“怎么学都学不会”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">然后耐心开导：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="36" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“你看你自己，不听课、不写作业、不看书，还能考8分，不正说明有天赋吗？”</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><p style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不过一句话，瞬间点亮学生眼里的光：</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">原来自己还有希望，不要放弃自己。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">真正的好教育，不胡乱给孩子下定义，而是看到孩子的闪光点，鼓励他，夸奖他。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">越是差劲的时候，越要给他种下希望，给予足够的支持和信任。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">无条件接纳和正面赏识，才能让孩子看到前进的方向，激励孩子走的更远。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;"></span><br></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">管理法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">在孩子未成年之前，父母有管教的责任</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">有句话说：“没有管不好的孩子，只有不管的父母。”</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">在孩子未成年之前，父母有管教的责任。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">纪录片《富哥哥穷弟弟》里的千万富翁哥哥和一贫如洗弟弟，让人看到教育的参差。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">比起早早就被父母要求出去赚零花钱的哥哥，弟弟过得轻松快活：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">什么事都不用做，想吃东西睡觉随他去，无聊就跑去学校和教堂破坏公物，卖小黄书买烟。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不管他多任性无理，偏心他的父母都觉得无所谓，他开心就好。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">而哥哥，却每天忙着帮别人遛狗、修草坪、送报纸打工，不敢懈怠。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">就这样，一向被高要求的哥哥自律、睿智、上进，成为身家千万的企业家；</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">而弟弟，懒惰闲散惯了，只会向别人伸手索取，活得落魄不堪，连一间容身的地方都没有。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">该管教的时候不管，放纵孩子的教育，只会亲手断送孩子的后路。</span></strong></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">声音法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">没有回应，家也是绝境</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">育儿专家陈美龄在《家长不要做的35件事》中主张“不要在孩子向你提问时说‘等一下’”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">即便手头上正在做其他事情，只要孩子有需要，也要停下来听孩子说什么。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">有一次她正在炒菜，儿子突然兴高采烈问她“妈妈，为什么天是蓝的”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">她当下立即关掉煤气炉，耐心聆听儿子的问题，并带领儿子一起寻求答案，满足儿子的好奇。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">大部分孩子的问题，在父母看来可以“等一等”，但孩子想的却是“快点回应我”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">他毫无保留的表达出自己的困惑，需要的就是被听到、被理解、被共情。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">许多父母一到孩子青春期，想和孩子说说话却得不到任何回应，于是责备孩子叛逆不懂事。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">然而一切都有因果，十五六岁的孩子不愿开口说话，极有可能是他五六岁时说话父母不听。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">想走进孩子的内心，最关键的钥匙正是父母的耳朵。<br></span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">正视孩子的声音，是给孩子最好的共情。</span></strong></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;"></span><br></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">榜样法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">不要要求孩子，而是要做给他看</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">俞敏洪有一次和李玫瑾教授交流，说到自己的儿时经历：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">从小父母教他吃亏是福，跟别人分东西时，一定要把更多的一份给别人，自己拿更少的一份。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">那时他不懂，多少觉得吃亏。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">可在父母的耳濡目染下，他一言一行都贯彻着父母美好的修养品德，最终成就了他的“新东方”。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">公司运营困难，别人想着明哲保身，他却心系别人，毫无保留奉献自己。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;outline: 0px;color: rgb(34, 34, 34);font-family: system-ui, -apple-system, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif;letter-spacing: 0.544px;white-space: normal;box-shadow: rgb(170, 170, 170) 0px 0px 14px 0px;display: initial;width: 100%;height: auto;box-sizing: border-box !important;overflow-wrap: break-word !important;visibility: visible !important;"> </span></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">作家列夫·托尔斯泰说：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="46" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“全部教育，或者说千分之九百九十九的教育都归结到榜样上，归结到父母自己生活的端正和完善上。”</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">言传的效果，远不及身教。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">父母通情达理，孩子善解人意；父母辛勤能干，孩子积极上进；父母严以律己，孩子自觉自律。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">想要培养一个什么样的孩子，做给孩子看就行了。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子从体验中学习，他在父母身上看到的都会在自己的言行举止上留下印记。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">求同存异法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">尊重孩子和自己的“不一致”</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">畅销书作者、硅谷帕洛阿托高中老师沃西基在教育上遇到过这样的难题：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">耶鲁生物专业毕业的女儿突然跟她说，自己的理想是当保姆。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一个常青藤高材生，放弃令人羡慕的offer，却跑到大街上贴广告看谁家需要保姆。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">这事搁谁身上都觉得不可理喻。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">但沃西基选择尊重、忍住不说，虽然心里觉得可惜，但还是相信女儿有自己的打算。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">与此同时，也给女儿提供一些招聘信息，让她知道哪里在招生物学的人。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不久后，女儿“终于”回心转意，从事和专业相关的工作，并创办生物公司，成为亿万富翁。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="color: rgb(72, 68, 133);"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子的出发点和立场，总有和父母相悖的时候。</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="color: rgb(72, 68, 133);"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">与其坚持“我是对的，你不对”的观念，不如耐心接纳、充分尊重。</span></strong></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">给孩子足够的时间和空间好好思考、探索，他才会知道什么是自己将为之奋斗一生的目标。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;"></span><br></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">慎用惩罚法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">乱用父母的权威才是问题</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">教育孩子时，父母容易走进一个误区：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">当孩子的表现不如人意或做错事时，就用惩罚的方式告诫孩子，纠正孩子的行为。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">打手、罚孩子面壁、不准孩子做喜欢的事情、破坏孩子心爱的东西、剥夺孩子某些权利……</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">简单粗暴的教育，无法给孩子真正的反思和觉醒，反倒给孩子带来不必要的伤害和阴影。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">《超级育儿师》里有个小男孩因为不听话，被爸爸要求罚站。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">生性好动的他，只要稍有反抗，就会面临更严苛的惩罚：不许动、自己打自己的手掌心。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;text-align: center;letter-spacing: 0.544px;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">不管他哭得多崩溃，爸爸都视若无睹，咬牙切齿控制着他，逼他就范。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子做错事，管教无可厚非。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">但教育，不是滥用父母的权威随意发泄情绪。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">错误的惩罚，只会掩盖孩子行为背后的动机和需求，阻碍孩子正常的成长。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">后果法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">孩子吃一堑，才能长一智</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">心理学博士海姆·G·吉诺特说：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="33" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“一个孩子应该经历不当行为带来的自然后果，而不是受到错误的惩罚。”</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">和惩罚相比，孩子通过切身体验感受自己行为所带来的后果，自我纠正的成效更好。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一位妈妈带着3岁多的儿子开车外出，儿子无聊想喝酸奶。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">因为担心他在车上喝洒得到处都是，妈妈试图劝他不要喝，可是越劝，儿子越坚持。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">为了避免更大的争执，妈妈决定忍住火气，放手让儿子做主，不再干涉。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">果不其然，酸奶洒了出来，搞得后座黏糊糊一片。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">这时妈妈耐心询问道：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="28" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 0.5px;color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“我看到酸奶洒得到处都是，现在该做什么？我们一起做吧。”</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">结果儿子不但主动把后座收拾干净，也不再提出要喝酸奶的请求了。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子不像大人逻辑性强，无法推断事情的后果。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">如果父母反复劝说，孩子还是不听，不妨放手让他承担一次。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">只有他自己经历后，才会在以后类似的情形中，及时调整过来，避免犯错。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">力量法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">永远不要和孩子斗强</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">一位从事家庭教育辅导二十余年的前辈说过：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="37" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><section><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“现在的孩子，吃软不吃硬。</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);"><br></span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">越和他杠，他越逆反、对抗，甚至惨烈的暴力相向。”</span></strong></span></p></section></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">现实中很多这样的新闻：</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子说不听，要他往东他偏往西，多说几句就吵起来，打起来，还理直气壮打电话报警说自己被“家暴”；</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">要不然就是，一言不合干脆摔门就走，两天闹离家出走三天闹自残……<br></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">试图用父母的权威压制孩子，只会激发他本能的攻击性。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">和孩子斗狠耍硬，最终换来的是两败俱伤，父母的一败涂地。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">到了一定年龄，</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">父母要学会示弱，这不是软弱，更不是放任孩子的任性。</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">而是以接纳、尊重孩子为前提，以柔克刚，更好地走进孩子内心，和孩子建立良好的亲子关系。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><p style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;line-height: 2em;text-align: center;margin-top: 8px;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">独立性法则：</span></strong></span></p><p style="margin-left: 8px; margin-right: 8px; line-height: 2em; text-align: center;"><span style="font-size: 17px;"><strong><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(72, 68, 133);">独立的孩子，才能扛住世界</span></strong></span></p><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">邻居家小孩14岁那年去外地游学，自己收拾行李、订车票，独自坐了十几小时火车。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">到了目的地后，因地陪临时有事暂时接不了他，他被迫滞留在火车站里。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">第一次出远门，又遇到这种事，他没有慌乱害怕，而是淡定拨打电话，告知父母情况，并表示自己能够处理。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">等到地陪终于接上他，意外发现他全程一个人对接所有事情，不由得心生敬佩，夸赞他独立。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">整整一个月的游学，他什么事情都自己处理，很少求助别人。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">杨绛的父亲杨荫杭说：</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">“教育孩子独立，胜过当第一。”</span></strong></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">能够独自面对一切的孩子，不管在哪里，遭遇什么事，都能游刃有余，不让人担心。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">孩子独立得越早，越能直面未来的风风雨雨，也越能凭借满腔底气，扛着这个世界的不易。</span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;width: 100%;height: auto;"> </span></section><section style="text-align: center;margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span class="wxart_image" wx-style="display:inline-block;"></span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">特别认同育儿专家兰海老师的一句话：</span></section><blockquote class="js_blockquote_wrap" data-type="2" data-url="" data-author-name="" data-content-utf8-length="49" data-source-title=""><section class="js_blockquote_digest"><p style="margin-left: 16px;margin-right: 16px;"><span style="letter-spacing: 1px;"><strong><span style="color: rgb(110, 110, 110);">“孩子的成长，对于我们每个成年人来说，都是极大的挑战——挑战的不仅是我们的耐心，还有我们的眼界。”</span></strong></span></p></section></blockquote><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">贫瘠的树根，结不出丰硕的果实。</span></section><section style="margin-left: 8px;margin-right: 8px;margin-top: 24px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">只有父母不断学习，及时转换、调整和反思自己的教育方式，才能为孩子的成长保驾护航。</span></section><p style="margin: 24px 8px;line-height: 2em;"><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">点个</span><strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;color: rgb(0, 0, 0);">“在看”</span></strong><span style="font-size: 16px;letter-spacing: 1px;">，愿我们都能成为合格的父母，做孩子一生的榜样，帮助孩子成为最好的自己。</span></p><section data-role="outer" label="Powered by 135editor.com" style="outline: 0px; 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max-width: 100%; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); letter-spacing: 0.544px; min-height: 1em; font-size: 16px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(136, 136, 136); font-size: 12px; letter-spacing: 0.5px; text-align: center; caret-color: rgb(136, 136, 136); box-sizing: border-box !important;">*<span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">本文系妈妈抱团原创，妈妈的辛苦和幸福，我们都懂；妈妈们的成长交流平台，欢迎关注。<br data-filtered="filtered" style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">*</span><span style="outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; box-sizing: border-box !important;">本文部分图片来源于图虫创意。</span></span></span></section><p style="margin: 25px 8px 0em; outline: 0px; max-width: 100%; color: rgb(34, 34, 34); letter-spacing: 0.544px; font-size: 16px; font-family: -apple-system-font, BlinkMacSystemFont, Arial, sans-serif; box-sizing: border-box !important;"><br></p></section></section></section></section>转载声明：本文转载自「妈妈抱团」，搜索「mmbaotuan」即可关注，[<a target="_blank" href="https://mp.weixin.qq.com/s/ewRJYRBbKKnHNBKBxNExQw">阅读原文</a>]。</div><p></p>